Running...

Running what exactly does it mean? I recently looked it up in the old Websters Dictionary and found this to be the definition

run·ning[ruhn-ing]  

Noun

1. the act of a person, animal, or thing that runs.

2.a means of escape - to run away from a threat

3.an act or instance of racing: the 113th running of the Kentucky Derby.

4.early European word meaning brutal, unforgiving torturous activity. Known to cause vomiting, difficulty breathing and make even the toughest of men fall and beg for mercy

5.the amount, quality, or type of a liquid flow.

Seriously, who on Earth enjoys running? 

OK, so one person, who happens to be fictitious, enjoys this abomination of nature. Big deal! Man is simply not supposed to "run" except in situations of extreme fright or when their life is hanging in peril. Running is not "fun" and anyone who tells you they "enjoy" it is someone you can no longer trust because that person is a LIAR.















So why have I taken up this activity? Well it seems that it is a requirement for becoming POST certified. I have to prove I can run long distances so I can chase people. Ugh, really? I have to know how to run? Can't I just chase people in my car? Who cares if fences, kiddie pools or small dogs get in the way?!? I'll just barrel through them and catch the bad guy...I've seen how this works, I've watched enough action movies. Really, so action movies aren't a good barometer for how the world really works? Dang...then I'm toast.




This is actually the part of the Academy I fear the most. See last time I did this, I ran fine, I built up my lungs and by the time I was done, I could run 3-5 miles a day. And...I actually kind of enjoyed it...It was nice to get out, go on a jog and see a little of the world. But these days things are a little different. My lungs got torn up really well because of a condition called ARDS. Basically, I have a hard time breathing and running isn't conducive to me being able to breathe and oh I don't know, staying alive. But I'm giving it a go...I've been trying to jog the mile long circle in my neighborhood. So far...I've made it about a quarter of that. Not terrible and honestly it wasn't the breathing issues that stopped me, it was a God awful calf cramp that caused me to not be able to walk let alone run. By the end of the summer, I figure 2 times around the circle will be plenty and I'll be able to keep building on that.

My doctor has put me on numerous inhalers, one for emergencies, like when I'm turning blue after I run, and another to help improve lung function over time. Hopefully they work. He said I should carry them anytime I feel that I'm going to be engaged in physical activity, which means likely carrying them while on duty. Not a terrible prospect and hopefully I don't get involved in situation where I have to chase someone for miles on foot. If I do, I'll just politely ask them to hold off running until I can take my puff, let it work and then I'll give chase. My wife was nice enough to tell me to always make sure I knew the difference between where my gun was holstered and where my inhaler was kept because she would hate to see me pull out the wrong one in a situation...Thanks honey!

As always, thanks for reading & enjoy a little Running on Empty by Jackson Browne featuring one Forrest Gump doing what he loves...RUNNING!

Working Out...AKA going from flab to fab?!?

Holy cow, this getting in shape stuff is tough. Hitting the gym multiple times in a week is seriously putting a damper on my desire to try and drown myself in buffalo wings and beer. Mmmmm....a nice beer certainly sounds good about now...Nope, I've got to stay on task. Focus on my job of writing and my goals instead of a nice, cold, icy almost slushy like mason jar of my favorite brew....














Wow, sorry, I faded out there for a second (wipes drool from mouth) I've found myself starting to eat better, more plant material and less of what would normally eat those plants. More low fat steak and proteins and less high fat doughnuts. But wait, maybe since cops eat doughnuts, they can stay? Hmm...that is certainly food for thought. (Mmmm...forbidden doughnut...)












DANG IT! That has got to stop happening.
In all seriousness, I'm really putting in an effort to change this part of my life. Food and I have probably always been lovers but now I'm transitioning that relationship so we're more like good friends. And that's where we can remain, so there will be no more late night runs to Taco Bell to satisfy some mind numbing addiction. When I was 18 - 22 or so I could eat whatever I wanted and be fine with minimal exercise. As I've aged I've found my six pack rapidly fading and being replaced by a keg...WOW what a change! I've got to work twice as hard to just reach a balance, much less add muscle or drop weight.

I'll openly admit I put myself in this position (and condition) and now that has to change. My wife and I are taking steps to living a healthier life and I am honestly loving how I feel right now. I've dropped 12lbs since November and I hope that number continues to drop as I try and meet my goals. I figure another 20lbs will get me to the same weight I was in high school and that is fine with me. After that, it is time to pack on the muscle and I'll be good to go.

During my last jaunt through through law enforcement, I went into the academy and worked my way into shape. It worked out pretty well and honestly I was the strongest and biggest I've ever been. But this time, because of legs and lungs, I'm already starting out behind the 8-ball. I've got to get in some semblance of shape prior to going in so I'm that much farther ahead of the game.

So with that in mind, I did the natural thing, I joined a gym...and made the wise decision (or mistake depending on how my muscles feel the next day) of signing up for a personal trainer. I should've hung up the phone as soon as he called me to schedule our first session. He was PUMPED. He was talking so fast that I could just picture the veins in his head and neck swelling as he lost oxygen trying to contain his excitement of making me his newest victim. Yet, I didn't. I listened. I should've walked away in our first meeting when he said we had to do paperwork and then he'd have plenty of time to "kick my ass"...yet I stayed.

Needless to say, I see exactly how far I have to go. He has whipped my butt during each meeting and is upping the ante to get me in the best shape of my life. I should've been scared when he walked up to me and the first words out of his mouth were "Welcome to boot camp".  I should've turned right around, headed out the door, cracked a cold one, grabbed a case of Krispy Kremes and kicked it on the couch. But I didn't. I stayed and did what he asked of me. And, I'll be honest and tell you that I puked after that session. Not just one little bit of puke either, I'm talking buckets, everything I've eaten in a week, almost as much as when I thought it would be a good idea to drink too much tequila. Talk about a blow to the ego. I've always known my way around a gym and to walk out losing my lunch showed me I have a long ways until I'm back to where I want to be. He is a means to an end and I need him. We certainly have a love hate relationship and if I get as big as he is muscle wise, I'll be sure to throw him a beating when I'm sure I can take him.Of course I'm kidding but man I've got to find someway to pay him back for all that he has done to me!

Richard Simmons he ain't...



But I'm on the path to awesomeness and I'm learning ways to build my muscles and I already feel a difference. One session might include starting with isometric exercises to get the heart rate up. Ten minutes and you're likely to be dripping sweat. Follow that up by taking a 35lb weight bar and a 35lb resistance band. Hold the bar, hold the handles of the band and do a set of 20 bicep curls. Drop the band, curl just the bar, then drop the bar and curl just the band. Repeat 3x. Rest for 30 seconds, hit the tricep machine and do the same thing. Repeat the entire process three times. Oh and in the middle of all of that do 3 sets of 30 lunging squats with 45lbs in each hand. Finish by doing massage stretches (possibly the most brutal stretch I've ever encountered), say goodbye and run to the nearest trash can. Proceed to lose lunch, dinner and possibly meals you haven't even eaten yet. Repeat this entire process 3 to 4 times per week for the next four months. Welcome to boot camp!

I was recently talking to my friend Craig and asked him how it is so much fun getting out of shape and such a pain in the ass (literally) getting back into it. His answer was "Because beer is awesome". It is indeed and those are words to live by my friend.

Thanks for reading